5 Ways to Teach Your Child to Respond to the Needs of Others

Imagine three children on the playground. Child one falls off of a swing and lands hurt, on the ground.  Child two and three, in shock, stop and stare. Child two immediately goes to the hurt child and cries with him, while touching his hand.  Child three, after a moment of watching, goes back to swinging on the next swing over, like he was doing before.

Child two is the better friend, right?

Not necessarily, but he’s definitely better at being empathetic.

Empathy is the ability to understand the feelings of others and at some level, feel what they feel and helpfully respond.

Like many things about our children, their ability to be empathetic needs to be nurtured so it can grow. As coaches and role models, parents can help children learn to recognize and respond to the feelings of others.

Parents can:

1. Label feelings.  Children often need coaching to verbally express their feelings. When we see that our children (or anyone, really) is sad or frustrated, labeling those feelings can help our children recognize and verbalize them in themselves and others. “I see Charlie looks really sad today” or “Mommy is feeling frustrated right now because we just cleaned the toy room and you pulled all of your books off of the bookshelf” can help our children put words to feelings.

2. Help children wear the other shoe. Asking open-ended questions like “How would you feel if Sarah knocked down your tower?” can help children see things from the perspective of others. It’s no secret that young children, and even some older ones, haven’t yet grasped that they aren’t the center of the universe. Helping them to see that others have feelings and needs too can help develop empathy.

3. Empower children to help. Teaching children that they can make a difference empowers them to lend a helping hand. When children learn to identify the feelings and needs of others, the next step in empathetic maturity is asking “What can I do to help?”

4. Model empathy. If you want to raise empathetic children, be an empathetic parent. Let your children see you recognizing the feelings of others, empathizing with them and doing what you can to help.

5. Provide opportunities to help others. Providing opportunities for children to meet the tangible needs of others can help them see empathy in action. “You know, there are some children in town who have to sleep in a home that is not their own at night. How do you think they feel? What can we do to help?”

Empathy is essential for social and moral development. Fostering it in our children helps them grow into caring adults.

Do you find your children are empathetic? How do help your children develop empathetic spirits in your home?

Dr. Goode is the founder of the Academy for Coaching Parents International, a global online school for training successful, parenting coaches in home-based businesses. She is the author of fifteen books, including the international best seller, Kids Who See Ghosts, the national award-winner Raising Intuitive Children. See and review all of Dr. Goode’s books here.  Dr. Goode is also the founder of HeartWise Parent, learning center for parents and Live-Spirit.com, which provides tools for spiritual living.

If you enjoyed this article, please share it with friends.