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Positive Self-Esteem


How Parents/Caregivers Can Help Their Children Develop A Positive Self-Esteem

Helping your children develop a positive self-esteem will help them immeasurably throughout their school years and later in life as a working adult.  However, it can be difficult for parents or caregivers to know exactly what to do if their children are experiencing self-esteem issues.  The following information should help you to boost your own skills in helping your children develop positive self-esteem.

When your child doesn’t succeed at accomplishing a goal, it is better to appreciate the effort that he or she put into it rather than setting up expectations that you expect them to succeed at that goal in the future.

For instance, if your daughter didn’t make the cheerleading squad for the upcoming football season, you don’t want to say, “Well, you’ll work even harder next year and make it.”  That will just set up more pressure on her to make it, and if she doesn’t, then the regret from not making the team would be even worse than it is now.  Instead, by saying, “Even though you didn’t make the team, I’m proud of your effort.”

You could even add that, “I would not be good at all of the athletic routines you have to do,” just to show that you are not perfect at everything; this can help your child to know that it’s okay to not be good at everything.

You should do everything in your power to show yourself as a positive role model.  Like it or not, you are a role model to your children; therefore, it is vital that you have an upbeat, positive attitude, even toward yourself when you can’t do something.

You want to remain upbeat so that your kids will see and emulate you in that regard; if you are always degrading yourself because you can’t do something, your kids are more likely to emulate that behavior as well when they can’t do something.

Be sure to recognize inaccurate statements your child makes about his/her own abilities and address them in a positive fashion.  For instance, your child may do very well in school, but may struggle with spelling.  Your child may get frustrated and say something such as “I am not good at spelling; I’m a terrible student.”

You, as the parent, need to show that that is absolutely a false statement, as your child will start to believe that they can never be adequate or good at spelling.  You can respond by saying, “You do a great job in school in many subjects.  Spelling is just a subject you’ll need to put some more time into.  I’ll help you with it.”

This is a positive, uplifting way to help your child realize that a seemingly impossible challenge can be overcome if you take a different approach to the problem (i.e. do more work toward it) and get help with it (i.e. you, the parent, assisting your child with it).

As you can see, there are many things you can do to help your children in developing a positive self-esteem.  We know that having children develop a positive self-esteem will serve them well in life, both as they go through school and as they become a working adult in the world.

Pay attention to the manner in which your children are speaking by identifying key phrases. You will have the ability to pick up when they are not telling the truth about their abilities. It is important for you to maintain a positive and upbeat attitude when this happens. This way you can show your children that it is okay not to be great at everything.

All that is needed is an adjustment in their approach to a seemingly impossible challenge. This way they can find a way to overcome any challenge and this will be a valuable skill for their success later on in life.

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